


take a chance and stay a spell

by pepperfield



Series: mini f/f fandom ficlet collection [3]
Category: Ebisu-san to Hotei-san
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Light Pining, Post-Canon, Requited Love, Second Kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-14
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-09-08 12:01:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8844094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pepperfield/pseuds/pepperfield
Summary: It's not that Chizuru doesn't love her new life in Tokyo with the Ebisu family, but some days, she can't help but ask - is it wrong for her to want more?





	

**Author's Note:**

> [Ebisu-san to Hotei-san](http://bato.to/comic/_/comics/ebisu-san-to-hotei-san-r5803) (also [here](http://dynasty-scans.com/chapters/ebisu_san_and_hotei_san_ch01)) is really cute, but I was left wanting to see more of their relationship, so here's a little post-canon fic. Thank you for reading!

Chizuru's not hung up on the issue. Not really. She doesn't even think about it that often. Only when she sees couples in public, or when they're watching a movie together with Hana-chan, or when the girls at the office gossip about their boyfriends. It'll only be then that she remembers Mayo's lips against her cheek, soft and quick. Meaningless.

It’s the only kiss they’ve ever shared.

And it didn’t matter, before, when she was just an awkward mess in unrequited love, and Shrimp Mayo was just her coworker, but now they’re...dating? Courting? Cohabitating? They’re _something_ , the kind of something that you could reasonably expect to kiss one another, perhaps, under the right circumstances, but these circumstances never seem to arise for Chizuru, and it’s not an issue! At all!

That time when Chizuru was baking cookies and Mayo leaned in, reaching her hand out toward Chizuru’s face to-

-brush a smudge of flour off her cheek? Chizuru was probably just reading the atmosphere incorrectly.

Or when they curled up together on the couch, and Mayo leaned into Chizuru’s space to show her a passage from her book, and all Chizuru could concentrate on was the scent of Mayo’s plum blossom lotion and the way her hair brushed against her pale neck, drawing attention down, down, from her throat to her sharp collarbones and further, until Chizuru noticed Mayo was pressed right up against her, and her lips were just centimeters away, murmuring some lovely line of poetry, and if either of them turned, even by just a few degrees, they would meet…

...but then Chizuru released a breathy sigh, agreeing that it really was a beautifully written passage, and Mayo drew back to smile coolly at her, elegant as ever but with a spark of affection in her eyes, and she settled back against the couch, only her thigh still pushed up against Chizuru’s leg. It had felt like a daydream, hazy and indistinct and lost to the night once Chizuru had spoken. Maybe it had just been in her imagination.

Maybe all these opportunities aren't special moments at all, just commonplace occurrences that Chizuru’s blowing out of proportion. 

Whatever! It’s fine!!

So what if Mayo doesn’t want to kiss her? They’re taking things slow; that’s okay. Great, even.

Chizuru barely even thinks about it, ever.

\--

Recently, Mayo has become more distant.

She’ll hesitate before touching Chizuru anywhere, whether her shoulder or wrist or hip, and stop several steps short of her, keeping the space between them open enough that she can slip away with ease, like rainwater through Chizuru’s clasped hands.

Chizuru doesn’t comment, though inside she’s burning with curiosity even as she grows numb from the distance.

Maybe what Mayo said that afternoon, about everyone she loved-

-maybe Chizuru isn’t a part of that picture. Perhaps whatever was developing between them has fallen stagnant, continuing on only in Chizuru's delusions.

But she doesn't want to believe that. Not when Mayo looks at her like she’s the first bud of spring blooming amidst the fading winter frost - like Chizuru is something bright and precious, full of color. Chizuru’s caught glances of herself watching Mayo before, from the reflections of window panes and newly polished floor tiles, from the chrome of their kitchen sink and the small square mirror in their bathroom. Every time they’re in the same room, Chizuru is conscious of how she looks at Mayo. It’s so obvious, how clearly the adoration is written across her face. Her flushed cheeks, her glowing eyes, and the way she always, always angles herself toward the other woman.

Mayo never shows any of those signs, and yet...Chizuru thinks it’s more than plain vanity to think that somehow Mayo watches her in the same way.

She wants to believe that Mayo loves her back.

Chizuru knows she takes the easy way out too often, but she's also spitefully stubborn to the core, and she's not going to quit on this relationship, not without fighting down to the tooth and bone. If Mayo wants out, she's going to have to say so herself, because Chizuru isn't going to give her up as long as she has even a sliver of chance. So she’ll keep her mouth shut and do her best to endure, until the day Mayo returns her feelings, or leaves her behind for good.

\--

Nothing changes. They fall into stasis, and life continues on. Mayo keeps mindful of her space, and Chizuru keeps tally of how many times she wants to breach that distance in a fit of temper, to demand of Mayo, _let me in, let me know what I mean to you, let me see that you feel for me even a fraction of what I feel for you_.

Chizuru doesn’t want to push her luck though, not when everything else in this equilibrium is so perfect. Hana’s taken to her like she’s always been a part of her life, Mayo is finally back to work where her contributions are appreciated, and even Onee-san is more settled when she comes to visit her daughter. Chizuru’s insecurities aren’t worth enough to disturb their peace for. And so it goes.

Tonight, they’re stringing up flower shaped lights along the balcony as a surprise for Hana’s birthday tomorrow. There’s already a cake waiting in the fridge, and strawberry ice cream in the freezer: a shared favorite. Their apartment balcony doesn’t see as much use in the colder months, but now that the weather has improved, they plan to throw the party out here.

Chizuru finishes tying the lights to one rail end, stepping back to admire her own handiwork. The pretty lights are made of a sturdy plastic, so it should be alright to leave them up most of the year round. After adjusting the way the string falls along the guardrail, she turns to Mayo to ask if she needs help with her strand of lights at the far end of the rail.

But Mayo isn’t standing at the other end of the balcony.

She’s standing just half a meter shy of Chizuru, one leg in front of the other as if she’d stopped mid-thought on her way forward, and one hand pressed to her lips. Chizuru almost doesn’t notice her eyes, searing with some inexplicable fever. It's unlike anything she's seen before: Mayo, usually so collected, verging on cold to those who don't know her, searching her with an intensity she never wears, not even at work. She’s alight with emotion, and Chizuru, hopeless as she is, yearns with a sudden, gut-wrenching desire that this expression might be meant for her.

If only Mayo’s heart could burn as brightly for Chizuru as Chizuru’s does for her.

Chizuru feels it like a shock to her nervous system, how keenly she _wants_ Mayo right now, and it’s a terrible tragedy, isn’t it, when the moth can’t help but be drawn to the flame, despite knowing better. 

“Mayo-san? Is there something you need?” she asks helplessly, and even as the words leave her mouth, Chizuru knows she’s misstepped. Now that she’s disturbed the moment Mayo is going to leave again.

“It's nothing,” Mayo says, her eyes shuttering after a flash of what might even be panic, beginning to pull away, and on another day, Chizuru would have let her go. Keep the status quo; don't disturb the peace. But tonight, she wants to be selfish. She wants to be brave. Reaching out, she catches Mayo’s hand with her own, drawing her to stillness, a frisson of electricity running between their linked fingers as Chizuru holds her arm taut.

“I don't believe you. Not this time,” Chizuru says, startling them both with her frank tone. Inside, her heart is shaking out of her ribcage, battering against her bones in desperation, but she can't stop the words from slipping out. She needs an answer. 

“Don't lie to me, Mayo-san,” she pleads, but to her surprise, she sounds uncharacteristically calm. “You’ve been distancing yourself recently; don’t think I haven’t noticed. And I understand if you want to keep to yourself sometimes, that’s fine, but if there’s any- if there’s a problem, then please just tell me. I don’t want…” and she needs to stop and swallow down the raging tide in her, “I don’t want to cause you any trouble, and if my- my feelings are a burden, then please. I need to know.”

She know she must look like a wreck, face red and pinprick tears starting to form now that she’s lost steam and her calm has evaporated, and she’s torn between running for cover, and tightening her hold on Mayo’s hand. She needs to know the truth, but she doesn’t know if she can actually handle it, so instead she does nothing but stand there, awaiting her downfall.

She’s prepared to stay there for minutes, hours, until Mayo finally walks away and Chizuru’s nothing more than a faded statue, her hands and face chipped away by time and wear. And with each tremulous beat of her heart, still trying to escape the only way it knows how, Chizuru thinks that this must be the end.

But not even three heartbeats later, Mayo takes a step forward, tugging Chizuru to her. With her other hand, she gently brushes her knuckles against Chizuru’s cheek, swiping away a stray tear that has managed to escape despite her best effort. She uncurls her fingers to rest her hand lightly against Chizuru’s face, barely touching, as if Chizuru is fragile. 

“Nothing about you- no part of you could ever be a burden to me, Hotei-san,” Mayo whispers, before her nose crinkles. “Except when you do a shoddy job on your reports.”

Chizuru lets out a choked noise, part-sob and part-laugh as she scrubs at her eyes before Mayo stops her with a gentle hand. “Guess it’s good you don’t have to put up with that anymore, huh?” she manages to say between hitched breaths.

“Well, I do miss sharing a workspace with you. These days, I don’t get to see you until the evening. And you’re usually still asleep when I leave for work.” Mayo tenderly brushes back a lock of Chizuru’s hair, leaving an ache behind in Chizuru’s chest when her touch trails away.

“I’ll wake up early, starting tomorrow, so I can see you off,” Chizuru swears adamantly, and Mayo laughs, her eyes softening.

“It would be nice to start my mornings by your side, but I don’t want you to lose sleep over it.”

“No, it’s no trouble at all. But you’ve distracted me, Mayo-san.” Chizuru frowns, bunching up the cloth of Mayo’s sleeve under her grip. She can’t let go for fear of letting Mayo escape. “Why have you been pushing me away? Am I being too intrusive? If you need me to give you more space…” She swallows audibly, willing herself not to break eye contact.

“No,” Mayo says firmly. She shuts her eyes for a brief moment, collecting herself, before opening them to regard Chizuru in that deep, heavy way she occasionally does. “I didn’t want to scare you away, but I didn’t realize that my change in behavior was so noticeable. Do you really want to know?” she asks softly, and Chizuru nods, letting her hand slip down to take hold of Mayo’s wrist. 

“Please.”

Mayo’s tone when she speaks is a close copy to the one she uses when presenting a report, clear and precise, but Chizuru can feel the unsteadiness of her nerves running under her skin from where their hands are joined.

“I don’t want to put more space between us,” she begins. “It’s the exact opposite. I want to be closer to you. As close as I can be. And for a long time I hadn’t realized how greedy I had become - for your attention, for your affection - until I noticed one day that I just couldn’t look away from you.

“It’s not that I’m unhappy with what we have. But some days I just...I look at you and I want you _so much_ that I feel like I can’t possibly hold my feelings in. You know what happens though, to the people I love. I didn’t want to lose you, so I…”

“Pushed me away,” Chizuru finishes for her when she can sense Mayo’s conviction wavering. “Is that it?”

“Yes. I’m not saying it was a smart decision, but, at the time I thought it would be the- the safest choice.” Mayo looks suddenly vulnerable. Fragile, in a way mostly unfamiliar to Chizuru, and the thought of Mayo being forced to learn time and time again not to open her heart hurts Chizuru to the core. 

“Mayo-san,” she says gently, lifting her hand again to cup Mayo’s cheek. “You never have to worry about playing it safe with me.” She smiles and finally does what she’s been waiting to do for months. The kiss isn’t long, but it’s a steady promise, from Chizuru to Mayo, of her presence, of her love. Mayo, surprised at first, returns her kiss carefully but without hesitation.

“Hotei-san, are you sure?” Mayo asks when Chizuru draws away, still smiling at her. She isn’t frail anymore, but she can’t shake the slightly starstruck light in her eyes, and it only makes Chizuru love her more.

With a laugh, Chizuru pulls her closer, to press their foreheads together. “I’m more sure about this than anything else in my life. You aren’t going to lose me, not now, not ever. So please let me in again?”

Mayo’s smile is usually faint and unassuming, but there’s always a warmth and depth to it that entrances Chizuru. This time is no different.

“Of course.”

The relief that follows soothes the last few cracks left in Chizuru’s confidence. She draws Mayo away from the balcony, back toward the door that leads inside. “Then let’s go back in. I’m keeping you close tonight.”

They re-enter through Chizuru’s room, but she pauses at the door to the hallway when she notices Mayo appraising her bed with a careful eye.

“Mayo-san? What is it?” Chizuru asks, peeking around her, but there’s nothing unusual there, just Chizuru’s two pillows and her lavender colored blanket.

Mayo shakes herself out of her thoughts and follows Chizuru out the door. “Oh, it’s nothing,” she replies with an almost sly look. “Just thinking about our future.”

Chizuru puzzles over this statement as they walk back downstairs to finish packing up Hana’s things for school tomorrow. When she’s hanging Hana’s backpack on the hook in the hallway she finally realizes what Mayo was implying, and her face bursts into a full-bloom blush.

“Mayo-san! Isn’t that getting a little ahead of ourselves?” she demands, hiding her face in her hands.

Mayo’s laugh says enough. “How about a kiss, at least?” she asks from the kitchen while wiping down the counter, and Chizuru is reminded again that this is real life. She’s sharing her heart and her home with the woman she loves and a little girl she adores, and it’s not just a dream.

Chizuru presses her own smile into her palms. Looks like she never had anything to be worried about after all.

“That, I can do.”


End file.
